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Sibling rivalry happens in most families and is very common. Don't panic when your children argue and fight because it is a natural part of the growing up process. It doesnt happen in every family but happens in plenty. Your children have a good overall relationship with one another and seem to be happy otherwise, sibling rivalry is nothing to worry about. When things get out of hand and sibling rivalry causes unhappiness in a child parents should step in. Ignoring the situation does not make it go away and could cause difficulty with close relationships and other problems for your child in the long run. Here are some reasons for sibling rivalry, provocation, and jealousy: Jealous or aggressive personalities Poor self-esteem Poor social skills People who have low self esteem are often unhappy with themselves and are in search of validation others. This is especially true family members. As they attempt to find this validation they can become extremely envious of others around them. A person in this situation who also lacks social skills may act up when they are with siblings. He or she may also be provoked easily which is the main cause of sibling rivalry. Ways to deal with sibling rivalry The solution to dealing with unhealthy sibling rivalries is to do so indirectly if you can. Dealing directly means you risk alienation by seeming to take sides. This can result in the child feeling victimized, blaming you and becoming withdrawn or aggressive. Dealing with this problem? Here are some tips: Give the child that is being alienated plenty of attention, support and love. Spend extra time with child that is having difficulty fitting in. Uses time to boost the childs self esteem and make this child feel important. Check the causes for the child's unhappiness. Encourage your child to talk to you, but dont yell because this will have the opposite effect on the child. When he has calmed down, ask him what he would advise a friend of his to do in a similar situation. He might come up with some original and helpful ideas. Talk to his teacher at school. Ask for solutions or advice. Remember that teachers have plenty of experience when it comes to dealing with children. You can make a plan with the teacher of how to help the child. You can visit, if need be, a child psychologist (without the child) for further advice and solutions. At any age a child can start provocation and jealousy. This is usually started in childhood when the child is finding who he is. This might also start when the child hits puberty, adulthood, or adolescence; it just depends on where they live and what kind of life they live. It is easier to deal with if the child is younger because when they grow up and move out they arent going to want your advice. Dealing with adult sibling rivalries When adult children tend to have problems with their siblings and become disruptive during family get together some may find the best form of intervention is an adult sibling rivalry group. In this group different types of interventions will have to be implemented. Below are some basic possibilities for solving the issue of sibling rivalry: If you have a good relationship with your child, try to get him to discuss the problem. Remain impartial and don't me judgmental. You might want to get a third party, perhaps a close friend or spouse, to talk to your child. Have a third party discuss this with your children. This can be a close personal friend or a distant relative. If the second sibling is more likely to accept advice, talk to him first. You will need a lot of tact and discretion. Building self-esteem in your children is not always easy, especially after there have been issues with sibling rivalry. Never give up on getting a good relationship built between your children. Some of the closest siblings didnt start out that way; they had to work through their issues as well. In the end, if you make an honest effort to show your children how to get along and how to treat one another it will work out.
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